


Window Pains and Reflection

by intense_tardis_noise, Prince_Set



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: BDSM, Drama, M/M, Romance, Sad Ending, Sexual Content, ohhhh no
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-19
Updated: 2015-05-13
Packaged: 2018-03-24 19:50:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3782242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intense_tardis_noise/pseuds/intense_tardis_noise, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prince_Set/pseuds/Prince_Set
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi and Eren face troubles in their busy lives in this AU fanfiction</p><p>Please feel free to send feed back. This is my first time trying to write a story so it would be very appreciated.</p><p>Praise @intense_tardis_noise  for the wonderful editing on this tragic story. Without her my spelling would hurt you all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Takeout and Off

Window Pains

Chapter 1. Takeout and off

I noticed the blue paint on his shirt when I came into the kitchen. God, I hope it comes out in the wash. The amount of times I’ve had to buy him new shirts is ridiculous. Maybe I’ll stop buying them and he will just have to paint shirtless; I wouldn’t mind that.

“What’s for dinner?” Asked Levi. 

“I just got done practicing so I haven’t had time to fix anything, sorry.” I replied. Im so tired. 

Usually I have dinner prepared for him, but I’ve been so backed up with wedding gigs and other things that it seems all I have been doing is playing the violin. Levi has also been out more lately and it’s starting to seem like neither of us are home at the same time. I’m pretty lucky tonight. That thought quickly fled as Levi said “I’ll go out and get something,” before walking out the door. He forgot to say that he loved me. Again. 

This is becoming a problem; for me, anyway…not hearing those words. Without them, I feel as if I’m not needed. I don’t wanna push on him about it though. After all we’ve both been quite stressed lately. I would just have to wait. I turned the answering machine on and fell into the chair next to it, listening. “Hey! Eren! I got you a great gig man. You know that church downtown? Um, oh yeah! Circular Ch—” (Click) Nope. “Eren, I found us a cellist who can fill in for the gig tomorrow night—” (Click) I don’t want to think about that right now. “Levi!!!” What does this lady want from Levi? “Hey! Answer the phone! Where the hell are you? I’m wai—.” (Click). 

I've lost track of how many times this voice has come over the gritty speakers of the answering machine. Asking him could hurt me however. Why do that? If there is something going on I should wait for him to tell—

“What's wrong?” Asked Levi. He must have been standing there for a few minutes. I guess I was more lost in space than I thought I was.

“Nothing. When did you get in? I didn't hear you” I replied quickly.

“A few minutes ago. I got a call right when I stepped inside.” He replied. I wonder if he noticed how startled I was.

Placing a bag down on the dining room table; from the smell I guessed it was chinese food. Typical, but I never say no. He sat down to take his shoes off. Then he stood up again to walk across the room, taking off his jacket as he went. And then his shirt. 

Its always the shirt.

“Can you make some tea Eren?”

“Sure.”


	2. Motion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After that night Eren has tried to keep all of these thoughts inside. Over the course of a few weeks Levi has started to notice.

Chapter 2. Motion

Pulling into the parking garage I noticed how strong of a jawline Levi had. The lighting exaggerated it and all of his facial features. His rough lips and deep eyes. All of this made me happy. All of him makes me happy; well, most of the time.

“Eren?”

“Oh! sorry.” I must have gotten caught up looking at his face; I never realized we parked. 

We started to walk towards the elevator. I noticed the concrete cross beams above us and jumped to touch one. Levi shot a stare so I stopped and began to walk normally again. Pressing the button for the elevator, he turned to me.

“What?” I asked. It was almost as if he was staring at me. 

“You seem like you have something on your mind is all,” he replied. I could feel his stare pushing and prodding for answers, but I was not going to tell him. Yet.

The elevator doors opened and waiting inside were the cold metal walls that provided zero comfort for me to lean on. When the doors closed I felt a hand grab my collar, shoving me into the icy wall behind me. He brought himself close, staring at me. Chills ran down my spine.

“Eren, I know you and i know when you are keeping something from me. How long have we been dating now?”

“Two and a half years.” I replied while beginning to pull myself away.

“Two and a half years… a long time. So by now I think I can wrap my brain around your personality.” He seemed extremely mad. I started to wonder what I did to upset him. I just wanted to wait to tell him.

“Levi…”

“What?” He said sternly

“Were here…” The elevator doors were open and there was a couple staring at us. Levi let go, and I preceded to fix my shirt and walk out with him. 

We made our way down the street to the batting cage; it was silent the whole way. I wanted to continue our conversation and apologize, but I didn't know where to start. 

“Hey Levi!” said the annoying cashier who knew him by name. “ Long time no see!”

Levi ignored him, proceeding to the batting cage leaving me to pay the bill.

“What's got him all pissy?” asked the cashier, watching Levi select a bat.

“I dont know,” I replied, even though I knew. But I couldn’t cause a scene here and embarrass him. 

“Im sure a few swings will fix his mood,” said the cashier as he handed me the change. 

“You miscounted,” I said.

“What?”

“You miscounted. I gave you a twenty bill and you only gave me four dollars back. My change is five.”

“Oh! sorry about that.” He said while preceding to get another one bill out.

Levi was already taking his first hits. He never missed; he just swung, struck, and waited for the next. A perfect machine some say, but I see him differently. He works like a machine when he tries to solve problems, but breaks when he can't. Hes not perfect. No one is. However that doesn’t stop people from staring at him. No one can see the mind. 

I walked in and got into my lane, pressed the button, listened to the countdown and picked up my bat. I need to calm down. Maybe this can help.

(Click) “Ready to talk?” Said Levi as the first ball flew past me.

“Im trying to focus” I said as i re took my stance

“Dont mess up”

“Whatever” I replied

(Click) (Click) (Click)

The machine kept firing as i blocked out everything around me, Doing my best to put every emotion i had into the bat and next, the ball.

“Nice swing. Now about what you’re keeping from me”

I kept my focus on the ball and ignored him.

“Eren are you listening?”

(Click)

“Eren?”

(Click) 

“Eren what’s wrong?”

I threw my bat into, the fence storming off. I cant take this. I can't talk yet. Why couldn’t he understand that, for Christ’s sake.

“Eren!” said Levi, walking behind me. “Eren! Where are you going?”

“To take a walk!” I yelled back.

“What did I do?!” 

“What did you do?!” I turned to look at him “ Oh, I don’t know?! Maybe you won't get off my case about something, when I’ve made it clear that I just want to leave it alone!” 

Stop it, Eren... 

“But since you wanted to know so much, I’m pissed because this woman keeps leaving messages for you, and I'm pissed that every time you tell me that you love me, it is because I had to pull it out of you and that thick skull of yours!!!” 

Why did I say it like that… 

“Well, I’m sorry for having trouble saying things like that! And excuse me for having a secretary!”

“Since when did a secretary talk like she wanted sex!” A group of people began to stare at us in the middle of all of this. “I need to take a walk...” I said, leaving Levi to give ourselves time to think

I kept walking farther and farther until I was at least five blocks away. Why did he have to keep pushing like that? Does he not catch a hint? I noticed a window display to my right with tuxedos in them. Would we be wearing those one day…? Then I felt a huge push on my shoulder and then the concrete beneath me.

“What the hell are you standing there for?!” said the man standing above me. He looked young and well built. To top all that off he had three other people with him.

“Sorry I was looking in the window,” I said, standing up and casually brushing myself off.

“Oh, that window?” He pointed towards is.

“Yes.” 

The next thing I knew, he threw me up against the glass. My face slammed into it hard, but not hard enough to break the glass. His friends stood there laughing at me as he held me there. 

“Look at this fucking pansy,” he said. “Can't even fight for himself.”

He dropped me, gave me one more kick, and all four of them left. A bystander helped me up. When I was standing and facing her, I noticed her bleached blond hair.

“Thanks,” I said

“ Not a problem at all. God, those guys were assholes,” she turned towards the store window. “Were you looking at that display?” she asked.

“Yeah, i was thinking about marriage.”

“Oh, I hope not to me!” She laughed and let out a sigh. “So who’s the lucky lady?”

“Oh, it’s a guy,” I replied awkwardly, waiting for her response. I expected the worst.  
“You dont need to seem so awkward about it!” she replied. “Im gay too… maybe thats why my boss hired me!”

“What do you do?” Probably something better than my job.

“Im a secretary.” She replied

(Click) The sound of her heels was obnoxious.

“Oh thats nice.” Her voice is so familiar. “Who do you work for?”

“Just a local artist, he’s pretty nice” What if its Levi?

I was too scared to ask. What if it is him. Then again it would be a relief if it was. That is if she is actually gay. Who knows. Maybe im too clingy.

“Wanna get some coffee?” She asked. I can never say no to coffee.

“Absolutely.”

Who is she?


	3. Social Scones

Chapter 3. Social Scones 

“Okay how about your name?” 

We walked for a good while to a small coffee shop at the base of an apartment building and a part of town I wasn't used to. Together we sat down, ordered and waited. There was construction going on outside. The city council managed to get enough votes to replace the old power lines with underground ones in this section on town. Of course thats a good thing, as this district was behind the times in a way. However, traffic is a nuisance. 

“Tori, short for Historia” she responded as she checked out one of the waitresses. Oh, I see.

“So this is why you wanted to come here.” I said with a smirk

“Everyone has their hobby,” she responded, with a smile that could kill.

“Have you talked to her yet?” 

“No not yet. However, I have gotten her name. Ann,” she replied

“Pretty generic name,” I said, digging for more information.

“Yeah, but I mean look at her,” she said as she turned around to sneak a peak. “That ass.”

I let out a laugh that caused Tori’s face to turn red. I’ve never had a controllable laugh. Then again, I haven't laughed like that in a very long time. Ann came over with a plate and two coffees. I took mine with milk while Tori took hers with cream and two sugars. I've always liked bitter things. Like Levi, the most bitter of them all, but… kind at times. Ann placed down the plate between us with two lemon scones 

“On the house.” She said, shooting a flirtatious glance at Tori. “Hope you enjoy.”

As Ann walked away Tori’s blush reddened even more. 

“So, when are you gonna talk to her? I mean, she’s obviously into you,” I said.

“I honestly don't know, I’m a bit intimidated by her,” said Tori.

I took a bite into my scone wondering if Levi was worried. Staring out the window I watched as the construction people were shutting down. It was nearly five o clock. 

“Something on your mind?” Asked Tori

“Eh…” Should i talk about it?

“Im all ears. Whats up, other than being sore from having the crap kicked out of you?” 

I almost forgot about how much pain i was in; physically and mentally.

“Well other than feeling like a trainwreck me and my boyfriend got in a huge fight.”

“What happened?” Should i tell her? I don't know. Maybe i should figure it out for myself.

“Eh… I don't really wanna talk about it right now. I should get going.”

“Wait!.” She grabbed my hand as i got up. “Here.” She began to write down something on a napkin. “My number. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here.”

I looked down at the scribble wondering if she really meant it. For most of my life, no one has ever cared for me; except for Levi, and even then he is not the most understanding. Would talking to someone I barely know be of help? Its almost as if I’m talking to a therapist. An untrained, high heel wearing therapist. 

“Thanks” I replied trying not to seem down. “I’ll see you around.”

“See you!”

I stepped out onto the street again wondering what Levi is doing. I should text him.

\-----------------------------------------------------

Eren: Hey

Eren: Levi?? Im sorry… 

Levi: Im at home. Catch a cab.

\---------------------------------------------------

What an ass.


	4. Not so bitter. Not so sweet.

Chapter 4. Not so bitter. Not so Sweet. 

I took the elevator to our floor and stepped out to the breeze way; I stopped to look at the night sky. All those stars just hanging there. No goals, just being stars. Doing star things. I wish I had the freedom like that. I wish that i could relax more often rather than working late night gigs and teaching kids the violin. Somedays its too much. Today is too much, however i need to face him. I walked down the lane wondering what he was going to say. Probably an insult of sorts or maybe not. Every once in a while Levi decides to take an apology or argument to the next level in hopes of solving the problem; if you catch my drift. Putting the key in the door, i took a deep breath and braced myself for the worst

Chicken? It smells like chicken. 

"Welcome back dipshit" said Levi providing his literary genius to the conversation.

"Hey... is that dinner?" I asked

"It is," He replied, with a smirk

Dinner? A smirk? Oh God, what is he planning? What if its bad news. Or what if he’s trying to get me all happy and then crush my feelings. No no he wouldn't go that far on purpose... I think. 

Walking into the kitchen, the smell of food became stronger and stronger. I forgot how good of a cook Levi is. I sat down at the table as he brought out an appetizer. Oh god please dont speak french like last time you cooked.

“Pour le bel homme, Une salade Ceasar” 

Dammit

“Thank you” I replied trying to not look annoyed. 

Levi then proceeded to sit down and began to eat. I joined him, wondering why in the world he is being so nice to me. What is this, blackmail? What is he planning?

“So”

Oh no…

“I want to apologize for earlier today. I pushed too much; I should have waited for you to tell me instead.” Said Levi.

All of a sudden, I was struck with emotions. Levi rarely apologizes so him doing so meant a lot to me and probably took a lot from him. My eyes began to flow over.

“Oh God, don't cry, you baby,” he said, sounding annoyed. 

“I cant help it! You’re being so nice to me… its been so long since the last time you were, so long that I've been wondering if you even cared for me still,” I choked out.

“Eren…”

“I’m sorry, I know I need to stop crying... I’m sorry im sor-”

“I love you” 

I became dizzy with emotions and noise within my head. Bursting with tears I managed to say those words back. I never thought he would give in to saying it so easily and meaningfully. However, I was obviously wrong. Within that moment I felt the feeling that I have longed for; the feeling I have been wanting for months. The man who gave it to me may be the biggest ass in existence… but I love him.

“Hey… its okay Eren its okay.” He moved to sit closer to me so he could put his arm around my shoulder. “Everything is going to be better now. Im going to be home more often; I’ll be a lot less stressed and probably a lot nicer.”

Eren let out a small laugh. “I don't know how much nicer you can be”

“Hey, don’t get smart with me,” he replied jokingly.

After all that we finished dinner and went into the living room to watch a movie. I don't think Zombieland Is all that romantic but its definitely better than nothing. We cuddled the entire time. I treasured every second of it. Maybe those tuxes i saw will come in handy.

When the movie ended we decided to go and lay down but when i walked into the room i noticed something on the bed.

“I bought you a gift,” he teased.

Laying there on the bed was a red leather collar and a leash. 

Oh no.


	5. Rise and Fall Pt1.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOte this stuff is Verryyy NSFW

Chapter 5. Rise and Fall Pt1.

My mind knew I was in trouble as soon as I saw the leash and collar on the bed. My body hadn’t registered the fact until I was pinned down, Levi on top of me, the unmistakable look of lust in his eyes. I couldn’t tell if I was extremely excited or terrified. 

Levi started to whisper dirty things into my ear as he slowly began to undress me. I was expecting a dominant side to him because, well, it was Levi. But I never would’ve expected the softness he used in foreplay. It seemed the more gentle he was, the more I wanted him to completely destroy me. So I’m a bit submissive, if one couldn’t tell.

His gentle touches didn’t last long, however. Once we both had our clothes completely removed, his dominance took over. He put the collar around my neck and attached the leash to it. At first he didn’t use it too much; a few tugs here and there. But once he had found a steady (and rather forceful) rhythm, I was done for. 

My legs began shaking uncontrollably as Levi started to go faster and faster. I tried to hide my moans as best as I could, but it was becoming increasingly difficult. The harder I tried to stay quiet, the harder Levi pulled on my leash. I couldn't help but moan as loud as I could, begging for him to go harder and harder.

“Oh God… Levi, don’t stop! Please don’t stop!”

Levi smirked and pulled even harder on my leash. “I wasn’t planning on doing anything of the sort.”

“Levi…Levi please…”

“Please what?”

I tried to answer, but at this point, all coherent thoughts had ceased. The only thing I could focus on was how good Levi felt inside of him.

Levi smirked again; he could see just how lost in the moment I had become. He pushed into me harder in the hopes of making me scream his name. That has always been his thing. He pulled back on the leash and I started to moan even more, if that was even possible. He thrusted deeper inside of me. Before either of us really knew what was happening, he and I both let out a loud moan, and I felt him cum inside me.

“Oh my god...That was—”

“Amazing,” Levi cut in.

We both fell down onto the bed and laid there. My legs were shaking badly; I knew I wasn’t going to be moving for a while, unless I had good reason. Next thing I knew I was dreaming.  
_________________________________________________________________________

I was walking through a forest with dark trees; the trees were extremely thick and very tall. They must’ve been hundreds of years old. 

I wandered around the forest aimlessly. It was ominous and dark, but oddly, I wasn’t afraid. In fact, the only thing that I was wary of was the fact that this wasn’t the case.

After a few more minutes, something in my mind tempted me to touch one of the trees. I still wasn’t afraid. I walked slowly towards one, and placed my hand on it gently. The tree started to die; the wood slowly began to chip away, piece by piece. 

A large limb fell right behind me. I turned away from the tree and ran. I still wasn’t afraid. 

The tree started to tip in the direction I was going. I ran faster and faster, but I knew I wasn’t going to out run it. The sense in my mind told me to turn left or right, so I could get out of the way of the falling tree. My body didn’t listen. I ran straight, the tree and its endless height falling behind me. 

Falling...and falling......and falling………  
_________________________________________________________________________

I woke up.

The room felt cold. Levi wasn't next to me but he must have gotten up to take my collar off. I was still naked, laying on the bed.

That’s strange...he usually covers me up after these things, even when I pass out. 

I heard the shower running and decided to join him. (Click) I opened the door and looked in. The shower curtain was open and Levi wasn't in there. That was when I noticed the pale, lifeless figure lying on the floor; I rushed over to him.

He wasn't breathing.


	6. Rise and Fall Pt.2

Chapter 6. Rise and Fall Pt.2

Grey walls and floors don't exactly bring life to a room, but I guess in a place like this, sometimes lives are lost. I sat in the waiting room, my heart ready to beat out of my chest. I called 911 as soon as I’d gathered myself after finding Levi on the floor. Within minutes, paramedics were rushing past me and working to get Levi to breathe again. Luckily, his heart hadn’t stopped; they managed to resuscitate him and get him into the ambulance. I threw on sweatpants and a t-shirt and rushed to the hospital. I had no idea how he was doing now. 

An angel in white walked into the waiting room, adjusting his wire rim glasses. He told me Levi is awake, but he wouldn’t last long. He informed me that Levi has been fighting a losing a battle with some genetic heart problems. The doctor handed me papers to sign for the transfer of Levi’s body when he passes. He won't though. No, he can’t. After signing the doctor’s papers (Click), he told me which room Levi was in and I rushed towards it. I opened the door and looked in. Levi was laying on the hospital bed with wires upon wires hooked up to him. 

Did I do this?

“You know you didn't do this right?” Said Levi in a weak, smartass tone.

“You can always read my thoughts but I can never read yours...” I said as I began to cry.

“I didn't want to tell you because I was afraid you would leave.” He smiled, a soft gentle smile that could melt the world’s ice caps. A rare smile that only he could produce, and only done in the most terrifying moments.

“I would never leave you. Never…and you’re gonna get better, and we will have a long life together, and we will get married, and be happy and—”

“I’m dying Eren.”

It felt like a knife, those words. The words I never wanted to hear come out of his mouth. 

“The doctor already told me that I will probably be dead within the next few hours. They’re keeping me alive though, as best they can.”

“Well they need to do better! You can't die...you just can't! I can't live life without you in it Levi don't you understand! You mean the world to me!”

“I mean the world to you?”

(Click)

“Levi do you remember when I met you? We were kids and you came into my mom’s bakery and stole a loaf of bread. I chased you for god knows how many blocks. It was the best time I’d ever had in my life. Since then we have been friends. I bought you some bread and we had lunch together. I would ask about you and your life and you the same and we went on just like that. We kept going on until we finally became of age and realized that we were in love...I realized I was mad for you Levi! I love everything about you, from your stupid comments, to your cooking, to how your lips feel on mine, and I don't wanna lose that. I dont wanna lose you. I can’t…I can’t…” I started to sob; everything was becoming blurry.

“Eren…” Levi said in a soft tone that scared me to no end. I rushed over to the side of his bed and began to stroke his hair.

“Ye-yes Levi?”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For existing.”

“You’re a dork, you know...”

“I know,” he replied, looking at me. “Can you sing to me, Eren?” 

I held back my tears long enough so I could start to sing for him. Knowing this may be my last time doing so. 

“Fly me too the moon, let me play among those stars,” he closed his eyes as I kept singing “Let me see what spring is like, on Jupiter and Mars.” I started to cry again as he started to hum the tune along with me. I kept going all the way to the end. “In other words please be true, in other words, I love you.” He stopped humming. I knew what was about to happen so I kissed his forehead and whispered in his ear.

“Goodnight, love.”

His heart monitor let out the piercing beep as it flatlined. 

Levi was gone.


End file.
